So, here we are.. again

Same story different guy. I swear, I just keep making the same damn mistakes over and over again. I never knew being aware of what you want is such a hard thing. I guess it's just easy for me. So SBE, from here forth to be known as "he who shall not be names, because I hate him, and I hate him cause I really love him", and I had a loooooooooong painful (tears, on my end only.. of course) conversation last night. Clearly I'm more into him than he is to me. Of course. And he cares about me, of course, but sometimes he wants to be along...oooooooof course (fucker). Long story short we haven't broken up. Things with us are the "same, but different". No shit. Get out! Different???? I would have never gathered that from last night's converation where you said exactly JACK SHIT. When I ask you what you want, and I get silence.. I dig you. When you say you don't know, I'm getting I just don't want to be the one to call it. Friendship my ass. You have friends, and I really can't deal with this wishy washy relationship right now. you say I deserve better than you've giving me... ok so either step your game up, or let me go. When given the choice to end it.. you're silent. Now what am I supposed to think about that? Ohhh boy can I pick em'. If there was an award for "Woman best able to choose a guy that you think is the most amazing person ever, fall madly in love with, and then have them say they need to work on themselves, thus leaving you confused, heart broken, and with this really sad lost in the woods kinda look written all over their face" I would win it. Hands down. Every year. Sometimes two times a year. Or if I'm on a roll, three times.